As Snoopy would say it was a dark and stormy night and the Old Men of the Mountain went out to play. The day was Tuesday on December first, and the OG’s headed over the mountain to Mrs. K’s Country Kitchen in Middleburgh. The OG’s mogged thru the brush and brambles all night until they finally emerged on the outskirts of Middleburgh all disheveled and covered with grass and twigs, hair all matted and clothes tattered and torn, but they made it to the breakfast none the less. The sun peeked from behind the clouds, and then darted back, so the clouds could sprinkle their first flakes of snow just as the OF’s left the restaurant to let the OF’s know winter will be near, and the OF’s could utter the well known phrase “shiver me timbers” quite a few times in the coming months.

The topic of conversation first off was on Tiger Woods. (The scribe is typing this after all the scandal (?) has come out. At the time of the breakfast what we know now was not known then.) One OF commented you don’t smash up a car the way that vehicle was smashed by just a case of misjudgment. The OG’s would lay dollars to doughnuts that his wife was after him with that nine iron as he was trying to get away. One OG said she probably nailed him once or twice before he got into the car and it is hard to drive with black eyes and having a nine iron cracked across your skull. From experience the OF’s know better than to mess with a woman scorned.

Another topic was sleeping as we age. When the OF’s were younger it was work, play, eat and sleep. Get up in the morning and start over. This morning the OG’s discussed how we dream, and what we dream about. Some dreams were able to be recalled, however, none were remembered in their entirety. One OF mentioned that he has this reoccurring dream; it is not a bad dream, but he has the same dream quite often, and sometimes twice in one night. One OF said he dreams in color, and is generally lost, or driving someplace and never gets there. That is quite a common dream with this OF.

Along with the dreaming is another phenomenon that often takes place. The OF’s fall asleep say at 10pm and wake up at 11pm, wide awake and think they have slept all night and expect it to be 6 or 7 in the morning. In this discussion on sleeping this apparition was quite common to all the OF’s. The OG’s say they wake up and feel wide awake and well rested. Some, when they realize what time it is are able to go back to sleep, while others do get up and either raid the refrigerator, or have a cup of tea, and then go back to bed. By the way, all the OF’s said this was not the normal nightly bathroom call, where with eyes just slits, and the body only ten percent awake the OF stumbles to the bathroom, and then stumbles back to bed and doesn’t know how he managed both.

Most of the OG’s take naps, some real long ones, and some for only about 20 minutes to half and hour. These daily snoozes do not seem to come in to play with this type of waking up after sleeping only an hour or so.

The topics flowed back and forth until we listened to one OF describe his latest object search for something his dear wife wanted and she was giving him directions to find it. It went something like this: “Dear, will you get that thing I just used from the dinning room?” OF: “What thing?” Wife: “You know the thing in the drawer in the dinning room.” OF: “What drawer?” Wife: “Oh, I think it is in one of the drawers of the hutch, or maybe the side board. You know it has that long brown handle on it.” OF: “That’s nine drawers. Can I at least have a hint, honey bun?” Wife: “You OF!! You are useless – I will get it myself!” The OF relating the story had many more questions in this 29-question game but to save a tree this scribe decided to cut it short. Anyway, you get the idea. How many of the OF’s have been through this, and how many OF’s have put their wives through the same type of mental torture game.

At one time during the breakfast one of the OF’s made a wise remark to the waitress, not an off color remark, just a wise remark, and Patty was not in the mood for this, and she replied. “Keep it up buster and you will be eating your breakfast out on the street!” to which she got a great big round of applause from the OF’s.

Patty explained her first customer got her off on the wrong foot, but the OF’s were changing that and making it much more pleasant just by us being there. She said the first customer told her a joke which he more than likely got off the internet, and she began to tell the joke.

It seems three ladies were walking down the beach and came across a bottle lying in the sand. One of the ladies leaned down and picked it up. She began to dust it off when Poooofff out popped a Genie. The Genie looked around and said, “I can grant only three wishes and seeing that there are three of you ladies each of you get one wish.”

The plainest one of the three spoke up first and said, “I would like to be the most beautiful girl in the world.” And zap she was… she was statuesque and beautiful. The other ladies saw this so the second lady said, “I want to be the richest lady in the world.” And zap…she had diamonds all over, packets of stock certificates, and suitcases full of money and she was rich. The third lady saw all this and said to the Genie, “I want to be the smartest person in the whole wide world.” Bingo! Another zap and she was turned into a MAN!!!!

Of course this could be told in reverse, but Patty is the wrong one to tell a story with that kind of ending first thing in the morning.

Those attending the breakfast at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh and enjoying the show with the breakfast were: Skip Skinner, Miner Stevens, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, George Washburn, Gerd Remmers, Carl Slater, Ted Pelkey, Henry Witt, Frank Pauli, Tim Thompson, Roger Chapman, Mace Porter, Gary Porter (who again parked right in front of the door. The last time the OF’s were at Mrs. K’s Mace & Gary beat out another carload of OF’s to the same spot), Steve Kelly, Roger Schafer, Arnold Geraldsen, Dom Moser, Paul Paulsen, Ted Willsey, Jim Rissacher, Bob Rissacher (Jim’s uncle), Mike Willsey, Harold Grippen, Willard Osterhout, and me.

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