On Tuesday the 28th day of April 2009, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Knox Country Store (or Poppa Joes – same place) in the center of the town of Knox on Route 156. Be careful not to speed through town and watch out for the red lights, they are covered by trees and hard to see.

One group of OF’s were talking about a subject we have covered before and that is that our minds tell us one thing, and our bodies tell us another and they are not the same. If only it were so. The OF’s minds think rather young and we think we can do or perform a lot more (or better) than we really can. For the single OF’s this is especially true when chasing the ladies. To the OF’s listening to these stories we wink and mutter “must have had a good night’s sleep, this is quite a dream.” This led to a discussion on all the lotions, dyes, creams, spas and operations to make us look younger. None of them work. If you are an OF you are an OF. The only thing that needs to be applied to the body to keep a youthful appearance is soap and water, and a body lotion of any make that has sunscreen in it…at least SP 15. That should do it. All the other stuff you should leave on the shelf. Clean body, clean clothes, healthy teeth, good attitude…with that the OF’s say ya got it made. The OF’s also maintain that the old adage, “My face I don’t mind it, because I am behind it, it’s the people in front that I jar.” With many of the OF’s (this scribe included) it would take a whole jar of face cream just to fill in one wrinkle. The old adage fits most of the OF’s.

A brief discussion was had on the airplane that flew over New York City and upset the residents there. The OF’s could understand the concerns of the people of New York, and the OF’s held the opinion that, “If you believe the president didn’t know about that flight then you are very naïve.” Furthermore, the OF’s stated, “He spends a lot of time in that plane and more than likely he wanted a better photograph of it in the air for his office.”

Another redundant topic of discussion was the weather. It got too soon hot (we all know this) but what was interesting about the weather this time was how it led to the quick popping out of the trees, how the forsythia is so yellow and full, how the flowering trees are the same i.e., full of blossoms, and it isn’t even May. What also came out of hiding in large numbers with the early surge of hot weather were the stupid flies, gnats, hornets, ants, and the ticks. All this was normal conversation until it got to Guinea Hens. One of the specialties of the Guinea Hen’s menu is ticks. These birds like ticks so maybe if ticks are a problem where you are you should get some of these fowl and let them run loose in the yard and they might gobble up those tiny, nasty insects. Guinea Hens are a fun bird; they are quite pretty and interesting to watch. One OF said they can be a tad noisy at times but then again so are geese.

We discussed the fires that rage in California, and now the big one burning in North Myrtle Beach. On TV the homes that these fires consume in their wake are heartbreaking to watch. One OF was familiar with the fires in the area of Myrtle Beach, because at one time he had a home in the area when one of these fires took off. The OF’s said there does not appear to be any place the OF’s can run to be truly safe from one kind of natural disaster or another. Earthquakes, tornados, fires, volcanoes, floods, drought, wars, blizzards, ice storms, whatever, insert any type of large unfortunate occurrence that has upset your life into the list. Trying to move someplace where a calamity will never reach out and grab an OF just proves you can run but you can’t hide.

Lastly, last week we reported on mice in the trunk of a car and this week it was a dead bird on the back seat. The OF’s suggest it is a good idea to close the windows when parking the car, who knows what will fly in, and once they get in what are they are going to do to your car? For all we know next week some OF may report that there was a dead cat under the dash.

Those attending the breakfast at the Knox Country Store and at least not bringing their collection of dead rodents and birds to the breakfast for show and tell were: Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Skip Skinner, Gary Porter, Mace Porter, Don Moser, Steve Kelly, Harold Guest, Arnold Geraldsen, John Rossmann, Ted Pelkey, George Washburn, Willard Osterhout, Mike Willsey, Ted Willsey, Harold Grippen, and me.

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